Little Sarah

First artwork ever that is meant for something... 

It's not that great maybe..because I'm no artist (yet :P) but it means a lot to me...

Hope it will work out..pray for more to come. Finally, I get a shot at doing things I've been dreaming to do since I knew how to read. <3

dream~

dream
it is not a cushion
it is not a buffer to the real
harsh world
it is a vision
put by the greater power
into your head
to make you see
that it is not a waste of time
if and only if
you dare to make that vision
be visible for everyone else

rule #1

if you want to have happy confident children.
you might want to stop comparing them with other people's children.
when you compare (by compare i also mean criticize) YOUR children with other children, you are also comparing (criticizing) your own lineage, genetics, hereditary etc. you are actually criticizing YOURSELVES!

plus, you are NOT helping at all. if you want your children to be good or smart or pretty or clean or polite etc.. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY!

but if you can't, all i'm saying is... embrace your roots, your genetics, your background; and especially when all that shows in your children. embrace them, love them for the persons they are. instead of telling them or make them feel that they are not (more like NEVER) good enough for you. because you are NOT perfect either. so..come on..
your children have the ability to LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY too. be nice to them., after all,.. YOU MADE THEM!!!

i wont

you can trash me up, beat me down, kick me in the gut, mess me emotionally
but
i am not giving up.
i wont give up on you
i wont give up on us
i wont give up on this world.
there is still a spark of hope for everything to be better and beautiful again
if you believe strongly enough.

nak tulis camni sebenarnya

"bisikku pada bulan
kembalikan temanku kekasihku syurgaku
tanpa dia malam menemanku
sepi memelukku
bulan jangan biar siang
biar alam ini kelam
biar ia sepi sepertiku..." (Khalil Gibran)



one day... i'll write something beautiful like this.~

keep breathing

biologically
you need air to live
to keep on living
you have to keep on breathing

no matter how smelly
no matter how dusty
the air can get
you can't stop breathing your air

you just have to keep on breathing
IF you want to keep on living

LIFE

living,
breathing
the indicator that you are a living thing.
alive
and kicking
is what they say.
exactly what it is about living?
you want to be a good servant to Him
and you are also built not strong enough to fight
needs
wants
lusts
desires
just plain, MORE
we will always want more.
and love...
sweet,sweet love.
what is it about love that makes you feel so alive?
one of the strongest reasons for anything
to live for
to die for.
LIFE, ya Allah...please enlighten me and set me free of this burden
may i be a good servant, amin

family potrait

a family potrait
never complete
one will always be
each is always without
how does one get through
a family potrait
that is never complete

i remember, neighbour next door

i remember
a neighbour next door
not my friend, just a neighbour
caught my eye once
and a few times more i'm sure
he was the sight of white light
so pure and serene and delightful
instantly the highlight of my playing days
suddenly the light went out
nothing
when i was peeking in
oh, neighbour next door
if i could only see you once more

Last Words, Atok.

if you were to leave this world, what would be your last words? i was watching my fav show in the world How I Met Your Mother latest episode; Last Words (this show is a tie with Grey's Anatomy).
it got me thinking... what would i say? what would i want the people matter to me to know? do i matter to them that my last words would be as important?

and then; i remember my Atok. i wouldn't really recall his exact last words to me... but, there was this time.. when i stayed back with him during my long holiday. and my weeks were almost up, few days before i had to leave... Atok was at his table, doing worksheets for his Japanese students i guess, and i passed by. and he stopped me. he held me tight and said, "Kan bagus kalau badan yan boleh kerat-kerat, separuh kat Jb, separuh kt KL, separuh kt Melaka.." and he said he missed me.and held me just a little bit longer. and then he let go. and continue his work...

i love you atok.. i do.. al-fatihah.

anger

take a few seconds and try to look back. we often feel angry at things that we do not know about. yes, we know what triggered the anger but we never took the time to really look at the matter deeper then we're supposed to. and if we really used our God given brain and not treat our intelligences not more than our birthright, then maybe; we wouldn't be angry at all. to know is to understand, and when matters are understood, it makes it all much easier to accept, and when you're able to accept. you won't feel angry anymore... not really.

Bumble-bee

strange
you might say
how this world go round and round
funny
i must say
that we meet at the oddest place
weird
is the way that we fell for each other
of all the people in the world
but
magical
is for the way you make me see
how you were always there in front of me
never away
always there
my darling bumble-bee

(11/07/2006)

*#%$$! merapu !%$@#

can't say you're gorgeous
but you have the sweets
can't say you're rich
but you never fail my needs
can't say you're smart
but you seem to always know
can't say you're sensitive
but' it's like you're always there
can't say that you love me
but it could possibly be
can't say a lot of things about you
but i'm trying, i still do
and all i can say is
my life is brighter, whenever there is you.

(11/07/2006)

the light of my tunnel

it was dark
i refuse to see
the road ahead in front of me
i was hopeless
loveless
lifeless
it was cold, true
i have lost my soul
i can't barely feel
i was dead inside

and then you came
change my frown to smile
my sorrow to joy
my tears to laughter
you forced me to walk
the road lay ahead
you opened up my eyes
so i can see
you;
the light at the end of my dark tunnel...

(11/07/2006)

scared shitless

remember when you were little
when the dark seemed like forever, bottomless
and the pillows surrounding you felt like unyielding fortress
you pray that you will be all right till sunrise
and sure enough, daylight shatters the dark and last night's fright soon forgotten
time and time again
you'll experience despair, nightmare
but as you get older, your sight degenerates
and it's getting harder and harder to see
soon you'll see no sunlight and the dark night will starts getting cold
and you'll only be able to shiver and rattle
cause one of these nights, you are scared shitless

sneak peek on "I Love You But.."

just because you've never experienced true love, it doesn't mean that it does not exist for everyone else...~

one drop experiment

title: One Drop Experiment
aim: learning one part of life lesson
materials: coloured water (any colour of your choice), a piece of white cloth (preferably cotton)

procedures:

1. spread the piece of white cloth
2. drop one drop of coloured water on the white cloth.
3. observe and answer the questions below.
   

questions:

1. what happens to the drop of coloured water after being dropped on the cloth?
2. how long does it take for the coloured water to spread on the white cloth?
3. can the phenomenon observed be related to the act of kindness in life? why?
   
4. one drop of water is usually be taught as too little or more than often goes unnoticed, it lacks the mass and volume compared to a glass or bowl of water; however if one drop of water is equal to one act of kindness, will it make a difference? explain your answer based on the observation from the experiment.
   

terapi lukisan~

terapi lukisan. it works... ugly or not. terapi lukisan works. give it a shot.

knock knock!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
It's me.
No, you cannot come in.
Why?
All of you are the same!
It's not fair.
Why is that?
I could be different.

*************************

Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Knock! Hey...it opens.
What are you doing, standing there?
I'm not coming in.
What? Why?
I'm not ready yet.
Fuck you!

(14/06/2006)

what is blogging anyway?

this is my thousandth attempt at blogging.
what is blogging anyway?
some kind of digital diary?
a medium to share ideas or findings?
a place to let out your emotions?
despite not understanding the true meaning of blogging, i still wanna try, because it's the thoughts that count, and i love words...~